Week 4 – No pics please

After my last dating fiasco, I quickly signed up for Match.com. Creating a profile can be a daunting task because you’re faced with the challenge of how to properly sell yourself to the online dating world. I started writing and thought I had hidden my profile from being searched. Unbeknownst to me, any minor update that I made and saved would automatically publish to my Match profile. They really know how to force someone to get out there.

All of a sudden, I started receiving an influx of emails. I was surprised at the number of men who showed interest. For a minute, I thought that I was “best on the beach” and I wondered if I had been missing out on all of these possibilities. Maybe I should have been dating online since its inception. Then it dawned on me that this was intentional. It appears that Match’s algorithm is strategically designed to ensure that I am promoted as the “new girl on the block.”

Quite a few men reached out to me – many who lived out of town, some were near my father’s age, others who didn’t bother reading my profile to see if we were remotely compatible. One of the benefits of online dating is that I can be as picky as I want to be. So I decided to choose single never married, has no kids and wants kids, my ideal age range, etc. I needed a break from dating the divorcee with 2+ children.

As I perused my messages, I came across a handsome fellow who dropped me a line. We exchanged a few emails and discovered that we had several things in common. Before we exchanged phone numbers, he shared his legal name. It was common by pronunciation only. Think of having a name like “Leroy” and spelling it with an “i” instead of “y”. “Leroi” is different alright. His mom wanted him to be unique and chose a different spelling. I would rather his mother had gone the Hollywood route and named him something like Pilot, Ryder, or Diezel. But Leroi with an ‘i’…I don’t know, maybe his mom was a hippie flower child who was on that “good cush and alcohol”.

We decided to meet for lunch and I was impressed that he suggested Muss & Turner’s, a boutique deli/restaurant nestled in the suburbs. As I approached the door of the restaurant, I didn’t know what to expect and had fleeting thoughts of being “Catfished”, someone who misrepresents themselves via social media with the intent of deceiving you.

My reflection quickly subsided as he peeked through the window pane and opened the door for me. I exhaled with relief that he looked exactly like his photos, even a bit better because he wore a fitted shirt that showed his physique. Standing at 6’3 with a solid muscular build, he reached down to give me a hug. So far so good, I thought. We chatted briefly about meals we previously ordered that were tasty and both of us decided to try something different. When we reached the cashier, I handed over my card to pay for my lunch and he shooed my hand away indicating he had the tab. Either “Leroi” is a true gentleman or he was genuinely interested. Only time will tell.

Lunch was engaging. We talked about our favorite restaurants and meals to cook, birth orders (I am a firm believer in the birth order theory when it comes to dating), what we do for a living, why he decided to move to Atlanta, our pet peeves and deal breakers etc. Mostly, we laughed often and enjoyed the company of one another. I looked up and noticed that the restaurant was almost empty which signaled that it was time to get back to work. As we walked to my car, there was an awkward moment and he asked, “Should I expect to hear from you soon?” I replied with another question, “Do you plan on calling?” He got the hint and opened my car door and we said our goodbyes.

After I returned to my office, I sent a quick text thanking him for lunch and stating it was a pleasure meeting him. He responded by texting that I owed him some pics. Busy at work, I ignored his inquiry and replied that I will chat with him later. Before I could phone him, he called me as I was leaving work. I chatted about my day and a need for food because I could feel a headache coming on. He didn’t empathize much and started asking me, “Where are my pics?” Instead of responding a flat-out “no”, I asked him why he needed my pics (why did I do this, I don’t know). “Leroi” did not give me a clear answer, so I ignored him and started talking about something else. Throughout our conversation, he brought up the pics. I continued to ignore him and eventually said my head was throbbing and I would call him later. Later never came.

The following day, Leroi sent me a text to say hello and I responded with a phone call since I was out grocery shopping. I told him that I still had a headache and it probably was my sinuses acting up due to the weather fluctuations. He immediately queried, “Where are my pics?” I sighed with disbelief, “Leroi, please explain to me why you a so adamant about requesting my pictures.” He finally gave me an answer, “I need a different pic of you to program into my phone for every day of the week.” Really, dude? “So what do you plan on doing with my pics…masturbate with them?” He laughed and told me of course not. To my relief, the conversation shifted to what I was cooking for dinner. I was in the grocery store after all.

As I approached the deli counter, he asked “So when are you going to send me some pics?” I looked into my phone “Are you serious?” I retorted. I started talking about something else and he said, “I know you didn’t just change the subject.” I finally snapped, “Let me be crystal clear. You will NEVER get a photo of me. You are being obnoxious…” He interjected, “I’ve been told before that I am sarcastic”. That statement alone is grounds for dismissal. He doesn’t know the difference between sarcastic and obnoxious. “No, sarcasm has nothing to do with this. You’re obnoxious…annoying…irritating…and you’re making my head hurt because you keep asking for some damn pictures!” I told him I had to finish shopping and got off the phone. He sent an apology text for taking it too far. I didn’t respond and we never spoke again.

I don’t know why I entertained this nonsense. In retrospect, I should have told him “No” the first time he asked. I’m pretty laid-back and I thought that he was smart enough to get the hint that I didn’t want to share my pictures with him. Lesson learned. From now on, I will quickly tell a man “No pics please”.

2 thoughts on “Week 4 – No pics please

  1. Guys always ask me for pictures. I always say no. I hate being asked for pictures!!! If you are not my family, or my established boo, don’t ask me because the answer will always be no.

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